(Chapters are stored chronologically in ARCHIVES)
The Diary of Rhea Sinclair
November 22, 1932
whEn ThEy EntErEd
AsHuddErriPPlEdthrOughmE
NOt frOm thE sight of thE dEfIler
bUt fOr the glImpsE of MY
bElOvEd
SHE was rAdIAnt
bEaUtifUl bEyOnd cOmparE
LITHE AS A REED
In thE brEEzE
I had tO FIghT thE UrgE
to
EnfOld
HER
InmYaRmS
I would nEvEr allOw
HIM
To sEE
ThE mAgnItUdE
Of mY dEsIrE
fOr mY truE lOvE
I sat stIll
kEpT
hEad bOwEd
ShOwIng nOthIng
ThAt wAs In mY hEarT
nO glImpsE Of trUth
wIll I rEvEaL
to
HIM
untIl
ThE
tImE
Is
prOpItIOus
tO
mE
HE
callEd mY nAmE
AnD
thE tErrIble EchOEs
of nIght
rAngthrOughmY
mEmorIEs
lIkE a firE thAt
rAvAgEs tAll trEEs
I held fasT
AndfOughtAnothErUrgE
thE OnE
tO smItE
HIM
AnD EnD
HIS
dEprAvIty
SHE
tOOk hIs aRm
tIltEd hEr hEad
LOOkEd at mE
AnD I knEw
that HE
hAd AlsO
tAkEn HER
IntO
HIS
SwAmp Of dOubT
aNd sElf lOathIng
but HE wIll
NOT
fIll hEr mOUth
wIth HIS
vIlE hUmOur
EVER AGAIN
fOr thE lIttlE bIrd
nOw
hAs
tEEth
aNd A wIll
tO UsE thEm
RhEa
RhEa
thE sOunD
Of HIS cAll
stIrrEd mE
In a waY
thAt It nEvEr
haD
bEfOrE
ThAt I knEw
I cOUlD
OblItErAtE
HIM
SEnd HIM
tO
EtErnAldAmnAtIoN
CalmEd MY sOul
aNd
I rAIsEd mY hEad
aNd
I OpEnEd
MY
EyEs
HE
stEppEd bAck
rIgId aNd ApprEhEnsIve
KnOwIng
thIngs hAd chAngEd
ThaT I wAs nO lOngEr
UndEr hIs swAy
mY bElOvEd smIlEd
SHE knEw
SHE knEw
thAtAtlAst
WE
wErE
frEE
ArE thEy trEatIng yOu wEll
HIS wOrds
rAng hOllOw
as HIS soul
I stArEd at hIm
spEEchlEss
mOtIOnlEss
gIvIng nOthIng
TAkIng ALL
WEll IM glAd tO sEE yOu arE dOIng bEttEr
HE
AlwAyS a fEcklEss
lIAr
concErnEd wIth HISOwN
grAtIfIcAtIOn
OblIvIOus
tO thE nEEds Of OthErs
aNd drOvE
OUR
mOthEr InsAnE
wIth hIs
mAnIpUlAtIvE
vIndIctIve
nAtUrE
WE wIll vIsIt agaIn
HE lIEd
I knEw thAt hE hAd onlY
cOmE tO sAlvE hIs rEpUtAtIon
EvEn amOng thE dEspIcAblE
whO wOrk fOr hIm
aNd
The Rest Of The World
thAt dOEs nOt knOw hIs
trUENatUrE
TheN HE lEft
aNd
MY hEart brOkE
as SHE lEft wIth hIm
But sOOn
WE
wIll bE tOgEthEr AgAiN
FOREVER
nOw thEy arE gOnE
aNd thE aIr Is
stIll
AgAIn
I prAy
I havE crEatEd
MYSELF
wIth Nu
In thE namE of KhEpEra.
I ExIst
In thEm lIkE Ra
I am
THE
GoddEss of LiGhT
ThAt whIch Is an AbOmInAtIon
UntO mE IS dEatH
lEt ME nOt gO IntO thE chAmbEr of tOrtUrE
whIch Is In thE TuAt
I am
THE
dElIght of thE Khu of Osiris
I
mAkE to bE
cOntEnt thE hEarts
Of thOsE whO
ArE bElOvEd
ThEy cAusE thE fEar of mE tO abOunD
THEY
crEatE thE awE of mE
In thOsE dIvine beings
BEHOLD
I aM ExAltEd
I Am thE gOddEss
AnD
thOsE whO cOmmIt
SIN
shAll nOt dEstroy
ME
I
AM
thE fIrstbOrn
thE prImEvAl GoddEss
mY sOul
IS
thE SoUl
of thE
EtErnAl GoDs
MY
bOdY is
EvErlAstIngnEss
I
AM
thE CrEatOr
of
tHe DaRknEss
©2013 j.edwardfitzgerald ~ all rights reserved
Wow! That’s disturbing, but I love it…looks like a page out of my diary some years ago.. I love how you can sense both the male and female perspectives! Very cool!